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A special Ashitaka's Angels guest blogger, The Derelict, Twilight movie review:
Confession: I've never read the books. Another confession: Thank the Lord for small favors. This movie was boring. I was drunk while I watched it but not drunk enough. I would have had to have been stone drunk wasted passed out in the corner to have been drunk enough to see this movie. It was just plain boring. There is nothing worse in cinema but to be boring and unvisual. This movie was unvisual (did I mention I'm still drunk from the thought of having to even review the boringness that is this movie). I will recap this movie in five words. Ready? Go.
Rain
Wooden
Vampires
Glitter-sweat
Okay, you've seen the movie now. Don't hate me for removing five seconds from your life. Blame Stephanie Meyer's bedroom fantasies. Seriously girl, make out with your husband before it's too late.
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Fantastic review, Derelict. The only person who could describe it better is Edward Cullen himself:
Oh yeah....I'm dazzled.
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