Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Doctor Who 6.1 "The Impossible Astronaut, Part 1": The Live Blog Edition!

WARNING: If you have NOT seen the premiere yet, READ NO FURTHER for there will be, in the words of River Song...

...SPOILERS. 
However, if you HAVE seen it, come on in! The water's fine. Sort of.
Welcome to our  recap in which we, two-thirds of the Ashitaka's Angels, keysmash and capslock-yell our way through the Doctor Who Season 6 Premiere. In true Ashitaka's Angels style, this post is going to have the minimum amount of coherency and the maximum amount of flailing. There will be pretty pictures, though! Consider it our (belated) Easter gift to you. A nonsensical, capslock-filled, confusion-ridden (belated) Easter gift.

The stetson'd Doctor welcomes you in.

"I wear stetsons now. Stetsons are cool."
In general, the episode was seven kinds of brilliant. Much like the best Doctor Who episodes, "The Impossible Astronaut, Part 1" was filled with moments that ranged from very touching to outright horrifying to downright mind-boggling. When the episode was over, we came away with a lot of revelations and a whole lot more questions.

First, here's what we found out:

1) (Not Related to the Show) We Were Determined To Watch, Obstacles Be Damned

Yes, there was one horrifying moment within the first 30 seconds of the show. And it didn't even have anything to do with the episode. It had everything to do with, um, technical difficulties:


Lea: my dad is hogging the tv OMG NOOOOOO
 Z: NOOOOOOOOOOO
9:00 PM get on that television!!!
  should i stop watching?
  i'm recording it
9:01 PM Lea: oh fuck balls
 Z: wha happened?
 Lea: ok, i'm watching it but idk if i'm a little behind
9:02 PM Z: amy just got a blue envelope
  river song is onscreen
  
 Lea: i'm not at River Song yettttt fuuuuuuuu
 Z: okay
  i'll wait
 Lea: oh, there she is
  lol
 Z: when you get to the bus, tell meZ: do you see the bus yet?Lea: BUSZ: k!!!

We wasted no time in mitigating the problem because, let's face it, nothing comes between TV bloggers and their TV shows. Especially shows about time-traveling Doctors.

In fact, by the time the intro came on, we were all sync-ed up and settled in:

*Do do dooo!* You know you sing the theme song, too! ...Right?...Anybody?
Z: this is a new intro
 Lea: omg new opening?
  ooooooooooooh
 Z: I KNOW, RIGHT!
  it's very amy-intensive
 Leasings along
 Z: doo doo doo
 Lea: doo dooooooo

2) (Related to the Show) Doctor Who Fraks With Your Heart & Mind; Also, Steven Moffat is a Sick, Sick Puppetmaster

The Doctor dies in this episode, guys. Killed mid-regeneration by a mysterious astronaut. We were, to put it lightly, distraught: 
Astronaut arrives; The Doctor: Still alive
Astronaut Shoots and Leaves; Doctor: Dead; Us: Devastated


Z: ASTRONAUTZ: what is going on?
 Lea: WAAAAAAAAT
  OMGOMG
 Z: who's inside
9:08 PM Lea: WAT WAT WAT WATWAT
  WHO IS IT?!
 Z: WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA
 Lea: OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING NOOOOOOO
 Z: he just got shot!!!!!
9:09 PM is he.....
 Lea: OMG
  no
 me: killed mid regeneration????
  that is a first
 Lea: WAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
9:10 PM NO HE IS NOT, SHUT YOUR MOUTH
  
  I'M CRYIIIIIIIIIIIING
 Z: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
9:11 PM Lea: WHY?!
  I'M HYPERVENTELATING ON MY COUCH RIGHT NOW
                   Lea: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING I'M SO DISTRAUGHT RIGHT NOW
9:13 PM     AL;SDKJFL;SDKJF;ALSDJF
  
I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

3) In the Same Vein, Doctor Who Never Ceases to Fascinate and Confuse Us...But Mainly Confuse Us

For a timelord, time is never in a straight line. To borrow from the tenth Doctor (David Tennant shoutout!), it's more like a "big ball of wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey stuff." Which makes perfect sense to a timelord. But for two bloggers, who are most certainly NOT timelords?...Not so much. 

One source of confusion was when the Doctor came back to life. But...he really didn't come back to life so much as not die yet, making him the Past!Doctor. It was the Future!Doctor that died. See? It's confusing.

The Past!Doctor and his special straw.
Z: HE'S BACCCCKKK
 Lea: AS;LDKFJDKSLA;SLDKFJDKSLA;SLKDJFDKLA;
9:16 PM MY SPECIAL STRAW
 Z: this an emotional rollercoaster
 Lea: DOCTOR, YOU EFFIN BASTARD
 Z: STEVEN MOFFAT, STOP IT
 Lea: YOU. BASTARD.


Lea: that exposition went by so fast and i know i missed most of it
  so this Doctor we're seeing now is Future!Doctor?
9:20 PM Z: no
  it's the past!doctor
  the future!doctor just died
  the past doctor is 200 years younger than the doctor at the beginning
 Lea: frick
9:21 PM future doctor invited past doctor to the restaraunt
 Z: yes!
9:22 PM that's what i've got down
 Lea: K.........still........WTF
 Z: yeah. i have no idea, either
  
This and other plot developments opened up a whole bag of questions/theories. But, more on those later. 


Another thing we found out:
3) Mark Sheppard WILL Find His Way Onto Every Show We Watch


Romo Lampkin, is that you? What are you doing off of Galactica? 
This man's TV guest appearances include, but are not limited to:
  • Firefly (Badger)
  • 24 (Ivan Erwich)
  • Dollhouse (Tanaka)
  • Chuck (Ring Director), 
  • Supernatural (Crowley, McLeod)
  • Battlestar: Galactica (Romo Lampkin, WUT WUT)
  • and now Doctor Who (Canton Everett Delaware III)
According to my precise calculations, he has appeared in 90-100% of the shows Lea and I have ever been fans of. Come to think of it, he probably managed to wriggle his way into an episode of another one of our favorite shows, Lost. I wouldn't put it past him if he just whispered to a producer and got himself CGI'd into the background. The smoke monster? That was really just him.

Mark Sheppard. In the TARDIS. In Lea's words: the luckiest bastard alive.
Z: Romo Lampkin!
 Lea: OMG MARK SHEPPARD
9:26 PM CONTINUING HIS QUEST TO BE IN EVERY SHOW I'VE EVER WATCHED
 Z: it's so true. only this time, he's got an american accent?

Lea: omg Mark Shepphard has been on Serenity, Galactica, AND THE Tardis!
  "IT'S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE"
9:44 PM Z: he has gone where every nerd wants to go

4) One of Us Has An Immense Fear of Alien Faces

Don't look away, gurl! You gon' die!
Too late. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Lea: OMGGLASKDFJGAWIRGJOMG
  OMGOMGOGMOGM
  I JUST SCREAMED OUT LOUD
  
9:36 PM OMG WTF THAT THING WAS SO SCARY OMG
 Z: I WAS JUST THINKING THAT
  ALIIIIEEENNNN
 Lea: IT'S SO SCARY
  CRYING CRYIIIIIING A;LSDKFJAS;LDKFJ
 Lea: OH
  MY
  GOD
 Z: it erases your memory
 Lea: OH MY FREAKIN GOD
 Z: GUUUURRRLLL
Z: IT HAS FREAKY HANDS
9:39 PM Lea: LS;DKFJLASDKGJHOIWERAI;SNBLKASNFBS;WEIUFJALS;DGNALSFH;LSKCVASRHGOAIWRJS;FLAKJSDLKGJLAFKSDJGLSDK;FJAOSIGJAS;LDGJKFOWRIGJ
  BREATHE IT'S SO SCAAAAAAAAAARY I'M SO FREAKED OUT RIGHT NOW



9:40 PM Z: are you watching in the dark?Lea: Yes. i am legitimately terrified omg. my brother was even freaking out lololol

Those are the things we found out. Onto the things we didn't and still don't know--a.k.a. the questions/theories portion of this post, a portion I'd like to call:


"WTF, DOCTOR WHO?! WHA HAPPENED?"


Our first big question:
1) River Song, WHO ARE YOU????!!


Srsly, though. Throw us a flippin' bone here, River!
Exchanges similar to this one...


Lea: WHO ARE YOU, RIVER SONG?!
 Z: NO ONE KNOWS



...happened frequently while we were watching. 


This is what we do know. 
1) She is constantly breaking out of horribly guarded space-prison. 
2) The more she gets to know the Doctor, the less he knows her. 
3) She is a BAMF, no doubt. 
4) A flurry of questions always surrounds her, making her a MYSTERIOUS! BAMF.  


...And that is the sum of our knowledge.


What kind of relationship  did/will she have with the Doctor?! What did she mean when she told the Doctor he knew she was a "screamer"??? WHAT IS ALL THIS LEADING TO??? 


Do any of you know? Because I have No Idea.


2) HOW IS BABBY FORMED. HOW AMY GET PRAGNENT
Guuurrl. Who the baby daddy?
So, Rory and Amy have been married for a little while. It would seem only natural that Amy happens to be pregnant, right? WRONG. This is DOCTOR WHO, so this isn't just some normal pregnancy that they would just casually mention. No, this has got to be important. But how? Our theories emerged as such:
Lea: So....what do you think about Amy's pregnancy?
10:13 PM Z: it makes me happy!
 Lea: Do you think it's just straightforward and Rory is the father and that's it?
  or is there some ~secret there
 Z: well, who actually knows
 Lea: or it'll get complicated
  OR RIVER SONG IS REALLY THEIR DAUGHTER :O
 Z: that'd be something if it was part timelord
  OMG
  WAT
  DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID
10:14 PM MY HEAD EXPLODED
 Lea: BOOM!
  lolol idk if i actually believe that
  but i just wonderrrrrr
 Z: that's an interesting theory!
 Lea: like, WHY DID AMY HAVE TO TELL HIM SO BADLY?
  Why was it so important she tell him that she was pregnant?
10:15 PM Z: THE CHILD. IT'S SPECIAL.
  i have no idea
 Lea: i think there's going to be something fishy w/ the pregnancy
10:16 PM I WOULD LOVE IT IF IT WAS JUST HER AND RORY'S BABBY AND THEY LIVE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE AND RORY GROWS A MULLET


3) Who Is That Child In the Spacesuit?


W.T.A.F. What. Child. Is. This?!
Is this the person in the spacesuit at the beginning of the episode (who also shot the Future!Doctor)? Is this a character's future child? Is she even a real child? Did Amy actually kill her at the end? Again, our wild theories emerged. We may have gotten carried away. All the way into another show--Game of Thrones:

Lea: i wonder if the little girl is still in the astronaut
  but [The Doctor] knows them still?
 Z: could be! do you think amy killed her?
10:56 PM Lea: maybe the child in the astronaut IS AMY'S CHILD!
  :O
  I'm just throwing out the most ridiculous theories ignore me
10:57 PM Z: but they could be true!
  who really knows
10:58 PM Lea: OMG SO MANY QUESTIONS
 Z: Wait! i have the answer!
10:59 PM the child in the space suit is the lovechild of rhaegar targaryen and lyanna stark: jon snow
11:00 PM Lea: IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!!!!!
  secrets and lies and secrets
11:01 PM Z: we are on to you, Steven Moffat

Concluding Thoughts:
If you couldn't already tell, by the end of the show, we were mesmerized:
Yep. Pretty sure we looked like that through the entire show. BTW, if you've made it all the way to this part of the post, you deserve a stetson.



Lea: IT
  WAS
10:01 PM BRILLIANT
  AMAZING
  SO FREAKIN GOOD
  LEGIT
  LIKE
  DUDE
  OMG
  LOVE
  SO MUCH LOVE
 Z: MY HEART IS FULL
  MY MIND IS FRAKKEDZ: it packed a real emotional wallop at the beginningand, in true doctor who fashion, was still mentally captivating all the way throughthe best doctor who episodes have me by the mind and heartstrings

Enough said. We absolutely cannot wait for Part 2! Catch it on Saturday on BBC America @ 9 p.m.
Until next time!

p.s. Thanks to Lea for her brilliant screencapping skillz :)


3 comments:

Lea said...

lol i can't believe you kept my freakout at the beginning of the episode. DAMMIT, FATHER!

We are even more incoherent than I thought. Thanks for putting this together!

astenzel7 said...

that was sufficiently entertaining :)
ENCORE!

zozizzle said...

@Lea We are even more incoherent than I thought.

And we'll probably become more incoherent as the show goes on. But it'll be oh, so much fun :)

Thanks again! I definitely could not have written this post without you.

@astenzel7 You made it through our ramblings! Congrats. You'll receive your stetson in the mail. Glad you enjoyed it!