...and you (and all of America) will like it. *snap*
Anyways, we decided to live blog week the first week of battles on The Voice. A lot of them were pretty close to call, but, of course, that did not stop us from putting in our two cents on not only the performances but also the overall festivities.
First, Onto the Matchups! Starting with Team Christina!
Battle #1: Tarralynn vs. Frenchie singing "Single Ladies" a.k.a...
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| ...DIVA-GEDDON |
Follow the progression of the images below, paying careful attention to Christina. Sure, she starts out looking normal, but as the vocal battle draws nearer, it becomes apparent that sing-offs bring out a bit of her dark side.
Time until Vocal Battle: 1 Day
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| "You guys are both amazing! O hai, Sia!" |
L: I bet Christina THRIVES off of Diva-offs
L: it gives her power
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| "Do I sense some tension?" |
Z: they're like her unicorn blood #sheisasingingvoldemort
Z: christina is getting excited at the very thought of this diva-off
Z: it's palpable
Z: they're about to punch each other with their voices
Time Until Vocal Battle: 2 Seconds:
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| Sith Signal to begin Vocal Battle #1. |
L: lollll she's totally encouraging the tension
L: she wants it!
Time Until Vocal Battle: -30 Seconds
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| Dance of the Singing Sith Lord. |
Z: she's feeding off of it!!!
Z: she's like emperor palpatine. the more anger there is, the stronger she grows
Battle #1 Winner: Frenchie. We agreed with Christina's choice.
L: blue dress girl has hit some bum notes
L: like, that last note? no
Z: yeah, she's a little off with her wailing
L: i'm kind of on Team Frenchie right now, i can't lie
Z: Frenchie was more in tune, and she had more flair 
...The Time We Indirectly Realized Not Only Blake's Sheer Height, But Also His Coolness.
L: omg is Blake a giant?!
L: or are they really short?
Z: he is a country giant
L: can i take the time to mention how much I love Blake?
L: He's funny and smart and has picked some pretty good people, and i've never heard of him
before, but i enjoy him
In addition to his admirable traits, Blake's choice of celebrity judge/helper further upped his coolness:
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| Actual Fact--> Reba's Total # of Awards from '84-present: Ninety, ya'll. NINETY. |
Z: wow. Reba frikkin' McEntire
Z: blake's pulling out the big guns
L: lol Reba PWNS all other judge helpers
11:55 PM
Z: she has as many grammys for each year christina has been alive
Anyways, the Winner was...: Patrick...or was it Tyler? We kept getting them mixed up during the battle.
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| For the record: Patrick's on the left; Tyler's on the right. It took us half the song to realize that. |
L: if you're looking for a good country guy, go Tyler
L: omg i'm confusing their names lol
L: switch that
Z: no, tyler's the country guy
L: switch thattttt haha
Z: you were right
L: so confused right now
Z: patrick's the one with the bowtie
L: no, they keep calling him Tyler though!
Z: wait.
L: Tyler is the ging!
Z: i got it wrong
L: haha it's ok
L: I DON'T KNOW WHO I WOULD CHOOSE
Winner: It was Patrick. At least we're 99.99% sure it was.
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| Yep. Definitely Patrick...right? |
Onto Team Adam and Battle #3: Where Tim and Casey sang "Leather and Lace"...a.k.a. the Battle where We Tried to Figure Out Who Casey Sounded Like
Z: who does she sound like?
L: she has a nice tone
L: but yeah, it's reminiscent of someone else
12:10 AM
Z: yeah, she sounds nothing like the high-pitched girl we saw in the beginning We were both racking our brains the entire song, but to no avail. Who should solve the mystery of the recognizable voice with no name?
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| ...Cray Cray Cee-lo. Of course. |
Z: Cee-lo's right!
Z: she *does* sound like a young stevie nicks
L: she DOES
Battle #3 Winner: Casey a.k.a. Young Stevie Nicks
Z: her voice is interesting
L: yeah, i like her too
L: she could be great
Onto Team Cee-lo and Battle #4. But first, some words about Team Cee-lo, who wins the award for Most Random Team Ever Led by the Most Random Coach Ever.
Z: i feel like cee-lo has the most random team
Z: or maybe that's just because of cee-lo's randomness
L: Yeah, Cee Lo kind of just picked whoever the fuck he wanted
L: dat's a lot of red
Z: it is. he looks like the kool-aid man
L: I feel like I never have any idea what Cee Lo is thinking
L: lol like Cee Lo's brain is just madness at all times
If it's still hard to believe that Cee-lo is random, please keep in mind that this is the same man who performed at the Grammys dressed in this:
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| Gwyneth unfortunately came with the costume. *Ahem* Anyways, onto the battle, in which Vicci went up against Niki singing P!nk's "Perfect" a.k.a. When We Realized We'll Always Be Biased Against Those Who Try to Cover an Adele Song |
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| Left: Vicci; Right: Niki |
L: right now, i'm leaning towards "Teenage Dream" girl (Niki sang it for her blind audition)
L: b/c that other girl sounded like she butchered "Rolling in the Deep" (Adele's hit single, which Vicci sang for her blind audition)
Z: yeah, her high note wasn't good
L: i basically have never heard an Adele cover better than the original
Z: THIS
Z: no one should touch Adele
L: and Kris Allen has done an Adele cover.....so you know it's serious*
L: SERIOUS SHIT
Z: WORD TO YOUR MOTHER
*How shall I put this. Lea is to Kris Allen and his music as Gwyneth Paltrow is to her own reflection.
Battle #4 Winner: To our surprise, Vicci
Z: WHOA
L: WAT NO
L: meeeh
Z: wrong choice, cee-lo
L: my only disappointment
Z: agreed
Z: cee-lo is cray cray lol
L: for real
Our Concluding Thoughts:
L: I enjoyed this episode! You know why? because the duets sounded good! like, it was just pleasant to listen to these people's voices mesh
L: and no one is terrible anymore
Z: Idol should be kicking themselves
they already do that [do group numbers/duets] during hollywood week. they just never made it a huge focus
L: right? and even though the voice is still contrived (boxing matches, an actual ring, etc.), it never feels forced like Idol does
Z: my producer-manipulation-spidey-sense wasn't tingling at all during this ep
it's usually pinging all the time during idol. I like that the judges actually talk about the musical aspects of singing
Z: their criticism sounds more constructive during the rehearsal rounds
Z: there's not as much soundbite generating going on, i feel
L: and i think you have to remember that it's new! and fresh!
L: Idol is stale and moldy
Truer words have never been spoken.
And so ends this live blog. Now, what did you think of the episode?
[Image Credit: JustJared.com; NBC]
3 comments:
You know *I* lovedddd it, (with a capital LOVEDDDD), and have to applaud you on your Gwyneth Paltrow analogy. But I totally disagree on one point, Blake made a HUGE mistake... if he wanted to keep his team country he shouldn't have picked a non-country (and AWESOME) dude in the first place. I call LAME. Agreed that CeeLo made a mistake as well (tho my objection is based on vocal ability NOT Adele). Team Adam rules the roost, at least IMO. :)
Tyler did have a good voice, and he put up a good fight. I think Blake picked Tyler, as well as a couple of other non-country artists, to be on his team because he sensed something unique in their tone of voice. Personally, I think it was Blake's song choice that kind of did Tyler in. The Elvis song seemed to favor Patrick's country twang a little more. You could be right about Blake skewing his team more towards country music; I guess we'll have to wait and see. Hopefully, none of the other non-country artists will be left in the dust.
Cee-lo himself said on the show that he isn't a very technical singer, but that he can "sang," which clues me in to why he picked Vicci, even though she wasn't pitch perfect and a bit 'screamy' for my taste. I guess he liked that she seemed more 'into it'? He kept on referring to her 'wardance' onstage. IDEK. Who really knows why Cee-lo does what he does.
Team Adam probably has some of my favorite people. The girl from this week's episode really surprised me. I thought Adam was wrong to turn around for her during the auditions, but that performance proved me wrong. I can't wait until the guy who sang 'Time After Time' has to battle someone.
In other news: Long reply is long.
I personally think that Tyler did more for the song than Mr. All American Country did, but I favor interesting re-interpretations of well known songs, especially since he was at a disadvantage not knowing how to sing the song. Even Blake said that he had followed his advice and held back on some of the vocal acrobatics, so to just toss him aside makes me angry.
I guess I had just hoped for some more objectivity (though I shouldn't talk as I am CLEARLY biased)from the judges and that if they took from outside their genre then they would maintain a search for "The Voice" and not "The Country Voice" or "The Cray Cray War Dance Cee Lo Voice".
Javier!! I'm SUPER excited to see him kick butt, he has a lot of things in his favor (adorable kids, family support, good looks, GREAT VOICE), so I'll be interested to see who he's paired with as well.
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